jcasper
Academy Graduate
[M:100]
Posts: 192
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Post by jcasper on Sept 30, 2010 15:02:24 GMT
I love to have sex with a bird that has Tourette's, it makes my neighbours think I'm great in bed!
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jcasper
Academy Graduate
[M:100]
Posts: 192
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Post by jcasper on Sept 30, 2010 15:02:53 GMT
I took my dog down to the dole office and asked what benefits he was entitled to. Bloke behind the counter said "We don't give benefits to dogs!" I said "Why not? He's black, he smells, he's never worked and he doesn't speak English!" His first payment is next Monday
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jcasper
Academy Graduate
[M:100]
Posts: 192
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Post by jcasper on Sept 30, 2010 15:04:24 GMT
I was checking into a hotel the other week. At the counter, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel is disabled."
Unbelievable what some people are into
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jcasper
Academy Graduate
[M:100]
Posts: 192
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Post by jcasper on Sept 30, 2010 15:05:03 GMT
Iv'e just found out who caused the flood's in Pakistan. It was a suicide plumber
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jcasper
Academy Graduate
[M:100]
Posts: 192
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Post by jcasper on Sept 30, 2010 15:06:48 GMT
Dear Pakistan, how does it feel to have your flood gates burst open, a huge force come in, kill people, spread all kinds of diseases, kill the economy and generally suck the life out of your country? Not nice is it?
Yours sincerely, the united kingdom
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jcasper
Academy Graduate
[M:100]
Posts: 192
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Post by jcasper on Sept 30, 2010 15:09:33 GMT
I wonder why they don't do golf at the Paralymics.
I'm sure they would all have an excellent handicap
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jcasper
Academy Graduate
[M:100]
Posts: 192
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Post by jcasper on Sept 30, 2010 15:09:58 GMT
Iron Man is a superhero Iron Woman is a command
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Post by Desktop Hoggy on Sept 30, 2010 15:13:14 GMT
LOL
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jcasper
Academy Graduate
[M:100]
Posts: 192
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Post by jcasper on Sept 30, 2010 15:13:33 GMT
Two Paki beggers are on the streets of Bradford. Abdul gets £3 a day, whilst Mohammed manages to get a bag of Tenners a day,Abdul says to Mohammed,"what is it that I'm doing wrong"? Mohammed replies "It's your sign,it reads ' I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'...Where as mine says, I only need another Tenner to get back to Pakistan...
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jcasper
Academy Graduate
[M:100]
Posts: 192
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Post by jcasper on Sept 30, 2010 15:17:59 GMT
i will probably get banned now
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jcasper
Academy Graduate
[M:100]
Posts: 192
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Post by jcasper on Sept 30, 2010 15:37:24 GMT
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down.
The waiter, who is also the owner, hands him a menu. "I'm sorry, Sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there." A little curious, the owner walks over to a dirty pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes, that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes..." "Unbelievable!" In the kitchen, the owner exclaims to his wife Theresa, who is also the cook, and tells her what has just happened. A few days later the blind man returns, and the owner brings him a menu.. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man.." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli." In disbelief, the owner tells his wife Theresa that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen.. He tells his wife, "Theresa, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man." Theresa does it and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man sits down, the owner is ready. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey, I didn't know that Theresa works here !
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Post by Desktop Hoggy on Oct 1, 2010 0:16:40 GMT
Two Paki beggers are on the streets of Bradford. Abdul gets £3 a day, whilst Mohammed manages to get a bag of Tenners a day,Abdul says to Mohammed,"what is it that I'm doing wrong"? Mohammed replies "It's your sign,it reads ' I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'...Where as mine says, I only need another Tenner to get back to Pakistan... My favourite
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fatmanstokie
Subs Bench
[M:25]
handle each situation like a dog.... if you can't eat it, or hump it, wee on it and walk away
Posts: 793
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Post by fatmanstokie on Oct 1, 2010 10:04:47 GMT
I wonder why they don't do golf at the Paralymics. I'm sure they would all have an excellent handicap aaaah ha ;D
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fatmanstokie
Subs Bench
[M:25]
handle each situation like a dog.... if you can't eat it, or hump it, wee on it and walk away
Posts: 793
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Post by fatmanstokie on Oct 1, 2010 10:05:09 GMT
i will probably get banned now banned never!! we like this sorta stuff!
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fatmanstokie
Subs Bench
[M:25]
handle each situation like a dog.... if you can't eat it, or hump it, wee on it and walk away
Posts: 793
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Post by fatmanstokie on Oct 1, 2010 10:05:22 GMT
Iron Man is a superhero Iron Woman is a command oh so true!
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fatmanstokie
Subs Bench
[M:25]
handle each situation like a dog.... if you can't eat it, or hump it, wee on it and walk away
Posts: 793
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Post by fatmanstokie on Oct 1, 2010 10:06:35 GMT
Two Paki beggers are on the streets of Bradford. Abdul gets £3 a day, whilst Mohammed manages to get a bag of Tenners a day,Abdul says to Mohammed,"what is it that I'm doing wrong"? Mohammed replies "It's your sign,it reads ' I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'...Where as mine says, I only need another Tenner to get back to Pakistan... the best by far!
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fatmanstokie
Subs Bench
[M:25]
handle each situation like a dog.... if you can't eat it, or hump it, wee on it and walk away
Posts: 793
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Post by fatmanstokie on Oct 1, 2010 10:10:50 GMT
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, hands him a menu. "I'm sorry, Sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there." A little curious, the owner walks over to a dirty pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes, that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes..." "Unbelievable!" In the kitchen, the owner exclaims to his wife Theresa, who is also the cook, and tells her what has just happened. A few days later the blind man returns, and the owner brings him a menu.. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man.." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli." In disbelief, the owner tells his wife Theresa that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen.. He tells his wife, "Theresa, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man." Theresa does it and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man sits down, the owner is ready. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey, I didn't know that Theresa works here ! hahaha !
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